Excrement, shit, loo roll, bog roll on train tracks!

It's something that's bugged me for years but i've never really heard anyone else talking about it. Next time you're in a major railway station perhaps waiting on a train, take a look down at the tracks and the chances are you will see what looks like evident of someone having snuck onto the tracks, done a shite, wiped their arse and then kindly left the bog roll to rot over a long period of time.

I had an arguement with my girlfriend about the source of these railway skid marks and I think the only reason why she argued against my explanation was because she didn't really want to believe the fact that in this day in age we were still dumping shit onto the tracks. Unfortunately it is true - why else would they ask you not to go in the stations?

I remember years ago being on some French and Italian trains that simply had a flap, so when you flushed you saw the tracks going by. However, everyone I know seems to be under the impression that we would never do such a thing in the UK. Wrong - we seem to do it all the time but pretend that we don't. I went looking for some evidence and it seems that having to view the evidence in my local train station was nothing compared to what some railtrack workers have had to endure. On many occassions they have been known to get sprayed by trains on the way past.

If you link take a look at the link to the bbc story above you'll see the great response from GNER....

"There is no risk to the health of passengers..... and track workers have been given health advice!"

Wonder what that advice was? Duck? Find a new job that doesn't subject you to getting human shite sprayed on your face on a regular basis?

Interesting Fact of the Day! No. 16 - Drifter Chocolate Bars

I'm not a big fan of offering free advertising to multinational organisations that suck the life out of new born babies in third world countries just for fun, or use small labrador puppies flung into the air for target practice, but I have to give a big mention to the Nestle Drifter bar! It really is the unsung hero of the chocolate bar world.

It's never had the popular appeal of the Twix or the Kitkat but it just offers so much more than either of these in terms of it's bite. I remember when I was a student and money was tight, I had to buy the bar that was going to give me the most fill for my money. It had to be the drifter every time. It was a few pence cheaper than the rest and by god it tasted great.

So in tribute to this fine snack, here are a few facts for you:

• The Drifter was launched in 1980 by Rowntree.
• It takes an hour from start to finish to make a Drifter bar.
• More than 90 million are sold each year.
• It currently outsells both the Timeout and the Picnic

Who Killed More People in the Bible? God or Satan?

Quite interesting that someone's actually thought of doing this in the first place. I certainly don't fancy the job of trailing through the bible to chalk this one up!

Ten Pin Bowlers are now using steroids!

Yes, it's now spread to sports that you didn't even think of as sports!

After a record number of perfect 300 games, Michigan officials got suspicious and decided to run some tests. HALF of the 50 bowlers they tested were positive for steroids. Maybe it's time to bite the bullet and have a steroid Olympics...?

You know you want to find out how fast a man can really run!! Hey, 2012 could be one to never forget. Besides the sale of drugs might help fund London's Olympics!!

I have to admit that even after all these years, Ben Johnson's Olympic run was the best Olympic performance i've ever seen.

read more | digg story

The 20 Worst Lyrics In History

Here's a link to someone's take on the 20 worst lyrics of all time. Now I must admit there are some pretty bad ones in there but i'm pretty sure there are some significantly worse ones hanging around. I'll be putting my mind to this over the next few days and you'll be the first to know as soon as I think of anything. In the meantime, here's a starter for 10...

Yes, it's good old Cat Stevens (er, sorry I meant Yusuf Islam...)

" I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through"

I think that's pretty poor as far as lyrics go. I can just see him running this one past his wife. It's also like he left something off the second line. What is this dog coming through with? Slippers, the paper? Or maybe just with a hug because his poor wife has faded...?

Anyway, if you can think of some piss poor lyrics just let me know your thoughts!
read more | digg story

Celery and Football don't mix!

Apparently Chelsea have banned three fans after they were caught throwing celery at the recent FA cup game against Spurs...

Two were caught on the day of the match and another was identified to the club.

I believe there's some Chelsea song about celery and women's bottoms but i'm still a bit in the dark about this. All I know is that you'd have to be pretty unlucky to get grassed up for being a celery chucker!

Oh yeh, as an extra fact of the day...

Did you know that liquefied, celery juice can be taken for joint and urinary tract inflammations, such as rheumatoid arthritis, cystitis, or urethritis, for weak conditions, and for nervous exhaustion.

Celery leaves were also found in Tutankhamun's tomb but as yet no charges have been brought against the boy king...

Interesting Fact of the Day! No. 14 - Atlantis Myth

Atlantis means "Island of Atlas", the first known reference to Atlantis was by Plato around 400BC. He claimed that Atlantis had sank into the ocean "in a single day and night of misfortune" around 9000 years previous (around 9400BC). Generally, Atlantis is seen as a myth created by Plato to illustrate some of his political theories.

Many believe that he based his Atlantis myth on a collection of other stories such as those of the Trojan War or the eruption of Thera which partially destroyed Santorini and most likely decimated Crete and the minoan civilisation around 1600BC.


As far as many can see, every other account of Atlantis relies on Plato's account in way or another. In 1882 Ignatius L. Donnelly published "Atlantis: the Antediluvian World". This, again based on Plato's account tried to prove the existence of Atlantis and further more, that all know civilisation had descended from Atlantis. This lead to a revival of the legend in the late 19th century which was combined with stories of other lost continents such as Mu and Lemuria. This account also introduced the modern view of Atlantis sitting as a large island in the Atlantic ocean off the African coast...

Limmy.com Live @ Blackfriars - Review

Well, what can I say? Many had waited a long time to see this and I doubt that any were disappointed!

"Limmy's World of Glasgow" came to er... Glasgow last night. It was a slightly nervous atmosphere as everyone piled into the downstairs bar in Blackfriars, I think it's been about ten years since i've been down there as well. But there was no need for nerves. As Limmy stepped up to the plate he was given a pretty warm welcome. After all, he wasn't playing to any old people just pulled off the street. He was playing to his band of devotees, the crowd who had one thing in common... him!

For anyone who has no idea who i'm talking about, Limmy is a flash/web developer turned film maker/commedian. Many people's first introduction to Limmy would probably have been the rather offensive xylophone (see here for a demo) that he put together some years ago. It pretty much sums up the guy's approach; creative, different... bamn!

His videos such as "Requiem" and "Yes or No" have become the stuff of legend but it was really when Limmy and his girlfriend Lynn went on a round the world tour that everyone got to know him a bit better through his blog. When they got home, Limmy then decided to create his own podcast called "Limmy's World of Glasgow" and since then it's been t.v., newspapers, itunes rankings up there with Gervais and now a stand up show!

Anyway, I won't go into too much detail as I know there's another show on the 24th March (which is sold out but keep an eye on his blog for tickets) but the show is a mixture of some new movies, some new stuff from his world of glasgow characters and some new one man plays. Everything was spot on and the hour long show went far too quick. I've also left out the detail because it's that kind of humour that leaves you looking like a dick if you try and explain it to someone else (as i've found out already this morning...).

There's no doubt that Limmy's going places and that's a great thing. His characters might be dismissed by a silly few as Glasgow stereotypes but if you listen to them they're light years beyond Rab C Nesbitt, Pavillion Panto style comedy that in the past were the sum total of Scotland's TV and Radio offering.

Having watched the gig last night, you can quite easily see a show format for channel 4 or BBC3. It's only a matter of time, so you best see him on the small stage while you still can!

Plato's Film Quote of the Day No. 3 - Rocky III

"No, I don't hate Balboa. I pity the fool" -Clubber Lang

Crap Reuters Adverts? Or Crap Reuters Adverts?

Am I the only one that is annoyed by these stupid adverts on a daily basis?

How do I see it? A waste of a good lunch!

It's not cool, it's not hip, it doesn't encourage debate, it's crap and that's all I have to say on the matter...

Oh yeh and those AOL "Discuss" adverts are a pain in the arse as well!!

Not had it in a while?? Spare a thought for this guy....

Never mind living to 107, no nookie for 77 years.....!

Well, it was bound to happen at some point....!

It was only a question of time before something like this happened. To tell you the truth i'm surprised it isn't a common occurrence?

Click here to find out more...

Seen Negs Urban Sports Yet? Big Stranger Rodeo!!

Have you caught Negs Urban Sports on Balls of Steel Yet?

Check out the Negs Urban Sports video for Big Stranger Rodeo below....



For more Balls of Steel videos and Negs Urban Sports events just click on the links!

songtapper.com - more like songcrapper!

www.songtapper.com

Right, the tag line is "It's fun, it's easy, it's helpful"!

In short, IT'S NOT! And why is that woman holding the keyboard in the palm of her hand?? Who does that???

The guys in my office have been trying for a while now and so far songcrapper has only managed to recognise the Star Spangled Banner...

Give the old songtapper a blast and by all means let me know how you get on...

Interesting Fact of the Day! No. 11 - Some facts about being left-handed

Here are some facts about being left-handed....


1. Being left handed seems to be a bit of a dodgy thing in Japan. Researchers have found that less than 2% of people in Japan admit to being left handed, when the world average is 10%. Traditionally a man could reject his prospective wife on the grounds of her being left handed. It was said that left handers wouldn't be able to master japanese script! 2. A study by NARTH (this is, wait for it.... the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality!) in Canada found that 31% of male homosexuals are more likely to be left handed than heterosexuals, while lesbians are 91% more likely to be left handed as heterosexual women.

3. Using a standard keyboard, and typing with both hands, the number of words in English that are typed solely with the left hand is 1,447. Only 187 words are typed solely with the right hand. Apparently the longest English word written only with the left hand is "stewardesses".

4. If you're a left hander, you're more likely to excel at tennis, baseball, swimming and fencing!

5. One in four Apollo astronaughts were left handed. This is 250% more than normal level. 6. Here's a list of some famous left handers from all walks of life:

Billy the Kid Jack the Ripper Napoleon Alexander the Great Julius Caesar Nelson Winston Churchill Bill Clinton George Bush (senior) John F Kennedy Fidel Castro Joan of Arc
Paul McCartney
Jimi Hendrix
Leonardo da Vinci
Bill Gates
Henry Ford
Gary Oldman
Bruce Willis
Robert Redford...

7. Ciotóg is an Irish word used to describe left-handed people, which also means 'strange person'

8. It is argued that Napoleon's left-handedness contributed to traffic flowing on the right side of the road in post-revolutionary France. The reasoning behind this evolution stems from Napoleon having to fight in wars with his sword in his left hand and that he reportedly converted his army to fight the same way. This would have entailed the French cavalry of the day to approach opponents from their right.

9. A profound Arab stigma against left-handedness dates to a pre-industrial period when paper was extremely rare and (in desert regions) water was too precious to be used for hand-washing. Because it was necessary to use one hand for wiping oneself after defecation, and because it was impossible to cleanse this hand thoroughly, the hand used for this task (traditionally, the left hand) was deemed unfit to be used for any other activity, especially as most Arabs of that time lacked eating utensils, and so they ate with their fingers (of the right hand) from communal dishes, while keeping the left hand entirely concealed at mealtime. To this day, it is widely regarded as taboo in Arab culture to handle food with the left hand. Offering one's left hand for a handshake greeting, or even waving it in greeting without touching, would be considered a serious personal insult in Arab society. Somewhat left-handers are also persecuted in the Arab World due to this taboo.

10. In the UK around 11% of men and women aged 15-24 are now left-handed, compared to just 3% in the 55-64 age group!

How good is your memory?

Well, I know I wouldn't be able to draw a city-scape of Rome from what i'd seen on a 45 minute helicopter ride.

I actually remember seeing this guy (Stephen Wiltshire) on tv years ago when he was just a kid. Well worth a watching this to see what the human mind is capable of...

Oh yeh, if you want to check out his site it's www.stephenwiltshire.co.uk and there's also a few other movies about him on Youtube, here

Toshiba Helmet

Again, I only find out about these things straight after christmas!

Darwin Awards 2006 - Time to laugh in the face of death!

Here are a few of the Darwin Awards announced for 2006...

Extracts are taken from their site www.darwinawards.com, have a gander it's a great read!

Man Tries To Dismantle Rocket Propelled Grenade!

"(August 2006, Brazil) August brings us a winner from Brazil, who tried to disassemble a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) by driving back and forth over it with a car. This technique was ineffective, so he escalated to pounding the RPG with a sledgehammer. The second try worked--in a sense. The explosion proved fatal to one man, six cars, and the repair shop wherein the efforts took place.

14 more RPG grenades were found in a car parked nearby. Police believe the ammunition was being scavenged to sell as scrap metal. If it wasn't scrap then, it certainly is now!"

Couple Die in Ballooning Accident!"

(3 June 2006, Florida) Two more candidates have thrown themselves into the running for a Darwin Award. The feet of Jason and Sara, both 21, were found protruding from a deflated, huge helium advertising balloon. Jason was a college student, and Sara attended community college, but apparently their education had glossed over the importance of oxygen.

The pair pulled down the 8' balloon, and climbed inside. Their last words consisted of high-pitched, incoherent giggling as they slowly passed out and passed into the hereafter.

Sheriff's deputies said the two were not victims of foul play. No drugs or alcohol were found. The medical examiner reported that helium inhalation was a significant factor in their deaths. A family member said "Sara was mischievous, to be honest. She liked fun and it cost her."

Interesting Fact of the Day! No. 6

Apparently Basque is the most difficult language in the world to learn. This is because it's not related to any other language in the world (for example English is influenced by Germanic, Latin and Gaelic languages). It's kind of the duck billed platypus of languages!




Ikusi arte!

Unsure about your faith? Take the Blasphemy Challenge!

Well if you fancy finding out what these guys have to say about the existence of god, they'll send you a free DVD! Well, it's almost free...

The one catch is that they want you to cut your ties with God by denying the existance of the holy spirit and uploading a video of you proclaiming this to YouTube.

Yes, it seems that Satan (Quite interesting to catch up on his origins here) is ahead of the game when it comes to using the latest in Web 2.0 online communities! Check it out for yourselfs and let me know if you decide to cut the cord...

www.blasphemychallenge.com