Muggers do it for the kicks!

Stop the press! The Economic and Social Research Council decided to commission a study and they’ve found out that many muggers commit the crime “just for the kick” of committing the crime.

Did you hear the one about the government using common sense to work anything out? Two minutes and I’ll commission a report to find out if they did or not…

Of course people are doing these things just for the kicks. If you walk round the streets of Glasgow you’ll find a number of individuals sporting the “Glasgow smile”, in other words someone’s kindly cut a smile into their face. I firmly believe that the majority of these crimes are done just for the hell of it or because someone was a bit pissed and looked at someone else the wrong way.

I was having a look over the BBC have your say pages (which I do frequent from time to time). There have been plenty of suggestions from the general public. These include bringing back national service, tougher sentences, stopping benefits, reform the criminal justice bill and public flogging!

I think these are all fair points but as much as I would love to see the stocks brought back to the city centres, I think we have to face a few facts….

FACT 1
There is a problem!

I know this seems like a simple one but much like a reforming alcoholic, the powers that be have to acknowledge that there is a problem and this seems to be something that they are reluctant to do. Now I understand why they don’t, if your job was on the line would you start saying that your department or company was completely in the wrong and you wanted to just start again?

The public know there’s a problem, we don’t want to have to get more alarms and street cameras. If we keep going this way, woollies will be selling back to school stab vests.

Now note that i’m not attacking Labour. It’s not that I think they’re doing a fine job, I just think that the whole system and approach is wrong. In truth I think our democratic system is wrong but that’s something for another day.

The government doesn’t care by it’s very nature, it’s not their fault, it’s just the system…

FACT 2
We’re not tough enough!

It’s a fact that we’re just not tough enough. The complexities of the system that we’ve created have tied us up in so much red tape that parents can’t restrain their children for fear of assault charges and people don’t report crimes because they know nothing will happen. There are people walking the street who have committed literally hundreds of burglaries, yet if we found them in our house and belted them we’d be the one’s in jail?

Our justice system is too confused between punishment, rehabilitation, reform and human rights. A classic case is that of the drug addicts who received an out of court settlement from the government when they were forced to go cold turkey.

People should have more faith in the justice system more importantly everyone should know where the line is drawn. Social services, parole departments and prosecution services are all tied up. All this does is cost us more money whilst we lose what little faith we have in the system.

FACT 3
You get nowhere just treating symptoms!

Tougher sentences are one thing but at the end of the day it’s just really about an improved common sense approach to the whole problem. Labour’s idea was the ASBO. Well guys, here’s some free advice that you won’t have to commission me to give; it’s just not going to work!

Did anyone think for a second that because someone’s been given an ASBO they’ll think, “hang on a second, I don’t want to be anti-social!”. Of course not, they’re anti-social in the first place because they’ve got very little to look forward to, even less to lose and the only role models in their lives are anti-social people. It’s not rocket science…

What we need is a fundamental approach to solving the problem and I think that begins with kids themselves. I know I’m fortunate in my life to have turned out (kind of) alright but I also know that when I was a teenager there was nothing to do, so I hung about, smoked and skated and even then the council refused to build any skating facilities.

Now I know Adolf Hitler’s hardly the saint of the century but when it came to sorting the kids out, he knew how to get them organised and focused. I guess it kind of goes back to people suggesting bringing back national service. I think we need a new Hitler youth idea with a bit less of the Hitler megalomanic tendencies.

So I know it’s going to sound like a way out there radical idea but why don’t we have a revised school system that supports the kids in everything they do? And I know that it’s going to sound way round the bend but why don’t we have the schools open beyond four in the afternoon? So if kids just want somewhere to hang out, play football or even (god forbid) do more study, they have somewhere to do it. Also if we formalised processes and incentivised kids for doing things like hip hop classes, or even graffiti art classes, providing money and training for more teachers and social role models to help them out, would the maybe not feel so anti-social?

At least if we did take this approach, it means that by having more contact with the problem families, we’d be able to spot the problems quicker and maybe even stop them from mugging, killing or even spitting at us.

Shucks, it’s just an idea I commissioned myself to do. I know you’d all rather spend the money on £20 billion trident nuclear submarine programs or more effort into punting £1 billion worth of arms to Africa. Do you not? But you voted for it, didn’t you??

Why don't we stop the rot...?